Mai Tai

I don't drink. I haven't had more than a taste of anything since Clinton was president.

But even I know that the poor Mai Tai is abused and confused in this modern world of tacky chain restaurants, trendy kids with ironic clothing, and MFin' Bacardi.

The following is not THE definitive recipe, but is close enough for the common man. If you are offered a Mai Tai with any juice in it other than lime juice, throw it in the bartender's face.

1. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice.

2.  In that cocktail shaker add 2 oz. light rum, 2 oz. dark rum, 1 oz Curacao, the juice of one fresh lime (Don't use Rose's or the little plastic lime), 1 Tbsp simple syrup, 1 Tbsp orgeat syrup (the almond syrup they use at coffee shops).

3. Shake.

4. Strain into a chilled double old-fashioned glass over a little cracked ice.

6. Garnish with a sprig of mint.