Chocolate Pudding

This week we have a recipe for pudding. We were going to have a recipe for puddin', but our glorious sponsors at Rock 'n' Roll Dino Productions told us no.

Now the easy way to make this thing is to follow Mr. Cosby's advice and buy one of those blue boxes. But that's like cheating, wonderful, glorious cheating.

Here's another way:

1. In a saucepan combine 1/3 cup cocoa powder (unsweetened Dutch Process, San Francisco Ghiardelli yada yada) with 3/4 cup sugar and 2 tablespoons corn starch.

2. Add 2 3/4 cups milk to this and stir.

3. Turn on the heat to medium, and stir frequently.(Burnt chocolate pudding sticks to pans like crazy.)

4. It will get thicker and a little bubbly. Keep going for a minute or two after it starts to thicken up, and then take it off the heat.

5. Meanwhile, beat four egg yolks in a separate bowl. (They're yolks, not whites, do you don't have to worry about stiff peaks or any of that nonsense.)

6. Now, take a cup of the hot milk mixture and SLOWLY pour it into the egg yolks. Stir and pour slowly at the same time. (Most people don't like scrambled eggs in their chocolate pudding.)

7. When the egg mixture is uniform(ish) dump it into the rest of the milk mixture and turn the heat up to medium-high.

8. Keep stirring.

9. Bring it to a gentle boil, then turn the heat down to low.

10. Stir for about 2 minutes, then take it off the heat.

11. Stir in 1 tablespoon of butter and 1/2 a tablespoon of vanilla.

12. When that is incorporated, you can stop stirring.

13. Serve the pudding hot, or cover it with some plastic wrap and toss it in the fridge to chill.

You can be fancy and pour the still hot pudding into individual containers to chill. These include, but are not limited to: ramekins, trifle dishes, cocktail glasses, teacups, bowls with pictures of the Virgin Mary on them,  the glazed skulls of your fallen enemies, small Tupperwares, or DVD cases.

Serve with whipped cream or that other stuff.

Bound Breading

For those who want to put crumbs on food, this is a recipe for you!

Did you know that bound breading is also known as "coating a l'anglaise"? Did you know that it is almost never called BTK breading?

1. Start by taking that stuff upon which you want there to be crumbs and drying it off. Paper towels work fine.

2. Make a bowl of seasoned flour. Season the flour however you want. Salt, pepper and paprika work for me. (If you have pie tins, they work well for shallow bowls.)

3. In another shallow bowl, mix one beaten egg with a tablespoon of milk. (Don't mix this too much.You don't want it to get bubbly.)

4. In a third bowl, have some breadcrumbs. Have these seasoned however you like, garlic salt, Parmesan cheese, eleven herbs and spices.  Most grocery stores sell pre-seasoned bread crumbs. IF you find a brand you like, good on you.

5. Now take your stuff and put it in the flour. Toss it from one hand to the other to shake off the excess.

6. Slide the stuff through the the egg. Make sure it is gets over all the flour.

7. Hold the stuff over the egg bowl and let all the excess drip off.

8. Now put the stuff into the bread crumbs. Turn and press. Make sure it is completely covered. If it is not, sprinkle some breadcrumbs over its naked shame.

9. Set the newly coated stuff onto a cooling rack. Let it sit there for about 20 minutes before you fry whatever it is you have.

 Just leave it on the counter for those 20 minutes. Don't put it in the fridge or anything. It messes with the frying.


Oh man, I ended the recipe and didn't put in any wrestling youtube videos.

Here you go!