Parmesan Pizza Dough

Sure, we all love pizza.

But who can afford those ridiculous frozen pizza prices?  $5.99? All right, Mr. Rockefeller!

Anyway, making pizza dough is easy enough. The tricky part is starting about 2 hours before you want to eat it.


1. Let the tap water run on hot for a bit to get some warm water. It takes my faucet a little while to get warm. You'r gonna want a cup of warm water. Around 110 degrees or so. You don't want it boiling or anything like that, just warm enough to activate the yeast.

2. I a large bowl, mix one of those little envelopes of yeast with your warm water, a tablespoon of olive oil and a teaspoon of honey.

3. Let is sit for a couple of minutes until it looks foamy and slightly blurry (like you are a mostly incompetent photographer).

4. Add 1 1/2 cups of flour and up to a teaspoon of salt. Mix until smooth.

5. And another 1/2 cup of flour and mix until smooth.

6. Add 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese and mix until smooth.

7. Add another 1/2 cup of flour and mix till smooth.

8. Knead the dough on a floured surface for about 3 minutes to 5 minutes.

9. Oil a large bowl. Use about a tablespoon of olive oil.

10. Put the dough into the bowl, turning it around so that the oil is all around the dough.

11. Wait for it. . .

 12. Wait for it. . .

 13. Wait for it. . .

 14. Wait for it. . .

 15. Wait for it. . .

16. Now you've got some pizza dough. This takes about 75 minutes.


Now, this is enough dough to make one really big pizza or two decent sized pizzas.

Here's what I did last time:

a. I put my pizza stone in the oven (bottom shelf) and then turned the oven on full blast about an hour before cooking time.

b. I spread the dough out into two rounds by hand: one on a floured cutting board to transfer onto the pizza stone, the other on a pizza sheet that has been greased and sprinkled with corn meal.

c. Sauced them. Cheesed them.

(Make sure they are blurry!)

d. I slid the cutting board pizza onto the pizza stone and put the pan pizza into the shelf above. 

e. The pizza stone pizza is done and ready in about 7 minutes, whereas the tray pizza will take a little longer. 

f. The stone pizza gets some fresh arugula from the dirt worshiping heathens of my community garden and some prosciutto on top of that to hold it down. The other pizza is for my kid, who doesn't want to eat anything. 

Time for a Pizza PARTY!

TNBBC's The Next Best Book Blog: ML Kennedy's Would You Rather

I don't mention any recipes here, but what the heck. I got to share these things everywhere, help the algorithm, and make myself more internet famous for all those internet dollars.





TNBBC's The Next Best Book Blog: ML Kennedy's Would You Rather: Bored with the same old fashioned author interviews you see all around the blogosphere? Well, TNBBC's newest series is a fun, new, liter...

Chicken Fried Rice

Hi nerds. Here is a dish to make with White Rice/White Meat.

Chicken friend rice is a filling meal that can be made on the cheap with leftovers and a few things you got lying around.

I use my mother-in-law's recipe as a base. Her family is Swedish, and therefore experts on chicken fried rice.

Anyways, here is what you do.

1. Chop 1/2 cup or more of cooked chicken. If you don't have any cooked chicken, cook some. 1/2 cup is pretty skimpy, and adding a bunch more chicken to the recipe doesn't change things too much. So do what you want there.

2. Marinate the chicken in some soy sauce and set it aside.

3. Fry up a cup of uncooked white rice in a tablespoon of olive oil. You want to put some color on the rice, but not burn it. Keep the rice moving around the pan for about the length of "I'm Waiting for the Man".

4. Now pour 2 1/4 cups of chicken broth and your chopped chicken into the pan. Cover and cook, stirring occasionally, for about the length of "Sister Ray".

5. Add 1/4 cup of chopped onions and 1/4 cup of chopped green peppers to the rice. You can add more things, like red peppers or bamboo shoots, or add more of onions and peppers. This isn't baking; the proportions don't matter very much.

6. Cook for one "Venus in Furs". By then, the onions should be somewhat translucent. Like the Predator.

You're done.

What we all will eat when she comes.

Chicken and Dumplings 

This is one of those things like Chicken Paprika or Chili or Chicken Soup or whatever, where everybody's mom has a different recipe. Really, it's just some boiled chicken and some wet biscuits, so it doesn't matter too much what you put in it.


It's easiest for me to use a dutch oven, but a stock pot would work just fine.


Also, you are going to want to start about 3 hours before you want to eat. Plan ahead, people.


1. Cut up a chicken into its useful parts. If it is small (about 3 lbs) use the whole thing. If it is big, use about half. You can also use a few thighs or breasts or whatever chicken parts you might have. Don't bother taking the skin off or the bones out.

2. Toss that into your cold dutch oven. We are going to pull the skin off later, so there is no need to brown any of it.

3. Toss into the dutch oven with the chicken 1 chopped up onion, 3 large chopped up carrots, 2 chopped up celery stalks, and whatever herbs and spices you like. I like thyme. I threw in a bunch. And some turmeric. Throw in a tsp of pepper and a little more than that of salt. The vegetable amounts are not terribly important. I made this on the fly last time and didn't have any celery. So I replaced the celery with nothing and things worked out fine. I also replaced the big carrots with about a dozen or so baby carrots.


4. Pour over the chicken about 3 or four cups of broth. Pour in enough water on top of that to make sure that the chicken is covered. You can add some chicken bouillon to the water if you want your chicken to be extra chicken-y.

5. Bring to a boil.

6. Reduce to a simmer.

7. Keep on simmering. (About 2 hours)

8. Pull the chicken out with a pair of tongs and set aside to cool. You can do this with your bare-hands, but you probably shouldn't.

9. Keep those veggies simmering or don't. The veggies don't mind.

10. Pull the skin off the chicken and feed that to your dog.

11. Pull the meat off the chicken bones and throw that back into the simmering pot. If you turned it off before, turn it back on.

12. Throw the chicken bones away. They're no good for your dog. He'll poop weird and it'll be gross.

13. Make some dumplings. You can make a nice, light, fluffy dumping with 1 cup cake flour, 2 tsp baking powder, an eggs and some milk. But my mom always used Bisquick and I had some Bisquick in the house. So listen to there recipe. I think it is 2 cups Bisquick and 2/3 cup milk. When the dough is uniform, use a tablespoon to drop it into the simmering stock.

14. Simmer the dumplings uncovered for 5 minutes, then cover and simmer for 15 minutes more.

15. Now, you've got chicken and dumplings and she can come and wear red pajamas and ride some white horses and sleep with grandma.

I never realized how lewd that song was.


Anywhoozle, you got to eat this stuff right away. The dumplings will disintegrate on you if you keep a pot of leftovers in your fridge. Then again, that just makes the whole thing a thicker soup, so do whatever the hell you want.

Frosting for Crimmus Cookies!

As a follow up to yesterday's cookie recipe, here is the frosting.

1. Toss a half stick of butter in the mixer.

2. Add 2 cups of confectioner's sugar.

3. Add 2 tsps of vanilla and 3 TBSPs milk.

4.  If you'd like add 1/2 tsp of almond extract.

Now, you can frost and decorate the cookies.

After 1/2 and hour on the cookies, the frosting should harden to the point that you can stack the cookies. Still, it is best to separate layers with waxed paper.

Store the decorated cookies in a tight fitting container with a slice of bread to maintain softness.

Crimmus Cookies!

So, I've been making or helping to make these cookies since. . . well, for a long time.

They are called Kris Kringles. I don't know if that is their common name, though, so call them whatever you like. You can make them for St. Patrick's day then and not just Christmas.

In terms of cut-out cookies, they are relatively simple to make. The only ingredient that is exotic is cream of tartar. Cream of tartar is potassium bitartrate, and it is not made from relish and mayo and it is definitely not a grumpy cat.

1. Cream 2 sticks of butter (i.e. 1 cup) with 2 cups of sugar.

2. Beat three eggs slightly, and mix them into the butter and sugar.

3. Dissolve 1/2 a tablespoon of Cream of tartar and 1/2 a tablespoon of baking soda in 2 tablespoons milk.

4. Mix that into the butter and sugar mixture.

5. Add 1 tsp salt and 1 tsp vanilla.

6. Now mix in up to 4 1/2 cups flour. Too much flour it dries out and too little it doesn't roll properly.

7. You can roll the dough now, but I like to let is chill in the fridge for a day or so.

8. Work about 1/2 the dough in your hands like you are making a big meatball.

9. Roll it flat on a floured surface with a rolling pin to desired thickness.

10. Get to cutting!

(Or get a little girl to do that part for you.)

11. Bake the cookies in a 350 degree oven for about 10 minutes. Smaller cookies will take about 7. Big, thick cookies might take as many as 12.

12. Cool on a wire rack, then transfer to a tray.

13. Repeat until all the dough is used up, or until you are sick of making cookies.

It makes a lot of cookies.

14. After they have cooled, they need some frosting, and decorating.



I guess I can give you a frosting recipe late. . .

The Making of. . .

I'm in the middle of making some Crimmus cookies. Dough is chilling as we speak. Will share a recipe with pictures tomorrow if all goes according to plan.

In the meantime, enjoy this clip of the true meaning of the holiday.